Faded Vanilla Twilight

William stared at me in a quizzical way without uttering a single word… “Jasmine…I really need to talk with you…” His eyes shadowed with pain and sorrow..

I know that he didn’t love me..He didn’t need me even for a single second…I was becoming a fool because of my own fault…I lost his friendship and I lost my hopes.. I gave him  embarrassed look…

“Look Jasmine” William said while coming closer to me… I lowered my head,so he couldn’t see the tears rolling down through my eyes…

His expressions made me really uncomfortable because all I wanted is to forget everything and to start a new life

Before he speak any word..I stood up from the ground and started walking faster away from him….

“Jazz..hey wait…” He called..

“Stop for god’s sake..what have I done?”

I didn’t wait….William came after me faster and grabbed from my hand like a giant… Though I tried to escape,I failed…

God’s punishments..I sourly thought…for persuming too much…I should have known better than to fall for a man like William who made my blood run fast and hot…. Stupid thoughts filled my head before I had sense enough to shake my hand steadily….

“Jasmine…Why are you angry with me..Why didn’t you treat me like this???” William questioned

“Go away…” I yelled,flipping my head so he couldnt see my face with tears…I tried to snap him away… “I dont’t need anybody..The pains you gave me are more than needed for me..Thank you for that William Rochester…It’s my fault..It’s my fault to fall in love with a moron like you..Once you said that you can read people..So didn’t you understand what I felt for you…Just leave me…Stay with Cassie..Consider me as no one in your life..I will think the same..I really hate you…I lied my friends..I betrayed Dastan and Jeramie..Because I wanted you to love me..I wanted you to understand my worth…But I was wrong..You are not the correct person..” My inner demon cried louder and louder… But those words were unexpected from me…

Without replying he released my hand softly….

“You are crying aren’t you…” He said firmly..

“You are so silly…”

“I know..But I wont be silly anymore..I’m sorry William..Please leave me alone..” I cried in dismay..

For an eternally long time he remained silent… His eyes were sparkling like blue bulbs…

“That’s why I really like you…” For my amazement he took my hands and kissed them in a decent manner…

“You mean what? I think you should go now..Cassie must be waiting for you” I stared with disbelief at him…

Instead of replying,he sat up,took a handkerchief from his pocket and began to wipe my tears…. “I don’t know…” He said leaning to touch the tip of my nose with his lips.. “Cassie and I are not lovers….”

“Don’t lie…I saw you kissing her” I claimed…

He stared at me for a while… “yes I did..but it doesn’t mean I love her..Isn’t it?”

He was correct…But it was hurtful to me…

Suddenly he kissed my right cheek,his breath warm and exciting on my face and neck as he kissed and talked..

“Can you please forget about Cassie… I liked you since the day you survived me from that wall painting incident….I know that you are wondering about my this sudden change…But I have never felt of talking like this with some one else..”

He planted a long soft kiss on my lips…I responded too much quickly and jerked away… “You don’t have to lie me now William..It’s alright..You can do whatever you want”

“I would never lie when I’m serious…” Both his hands cupped my head so he could tip it at an angle that suited him and his next kiss on my lips were more intense,I could hardly breathe…

“Tell me whether you love me or not”

“Let me think more about what’s happening between us…I have held back from loving you because I’m not perfect like you…I never became serious…I don’t want to become a useless man in-front of your love… I don’t want to see you getting hurt by my uselessness…”

“No…I don’t even care…I just love you..I need you”

He groaned and buried his face in my hair…

“Don’t say anything…we both need to think before it’s too late to stop what’s already begun…”

Wonder filled my eyes…HE LOVED ME…I realized it from his words…I heart started pounding faster and faster…It was the most happiest evening in my life time…My dream has become true..I was resting on his shoulders..He will become mine forever..With those heavenly thoughts both of us walked towards the UNI….

“So, you had a fight with William ?”Dastan asked. He was sitting on my table, and I was on my chair. He leaned closer to me with pure amusement and curiosity crossed his angelic face.
I was in the Psychology class with Dastan talking about the things happened with in the past few days…But I hide the exact reason for fighting with William.I wanted to keep it as a secret as well as talking about it made me more and more sad.

“No Dastan.It was just a conversation” I lied

Dastan then snorted, “Oh Okay! Thought that you guys were preparing for the next world war,” He scoffed.
I chuckled, “Is it?”

He nodded ghastly…

He was correct! It was more than like a war to me…The words William uttered in to my face was like hurtful arrows. But William was not an understanding person to realize how I felt on that movement.I didn’t explain him too.My own fate was laughing at me while letting me down again my LOVE! It was so unbearable also unchangeable..
“So,then hope you are fine Jazz?” He asked, swifting his seat uncomfortably.

“Yes of course..I’m fine” I gave him a soft smile and diverted my glance in to my note books

“Well..then that’s perfect!”

I was pretty much in trouble. I lied so much matters to him, that I felt like a villain. I knew I could trust him, but I just could not tell him the truth. I had my reason, and I choose not to tell anyone, included him. Well, there were some exceptions, though.

“Now then, boys and girls, settle down. Let us begin,” Our  Psychology lecturer thundered as she came in the classroom.

I was so deep in thoughts, I got it mixed up between the feelings of William..So I couldn’t hear a single world which our lecturer said…Another wasteful day! Suddenly Dastan whispered to my ear saying to concentrate which made me to come out from the hallucination…

I looked up and saw William, walking in with a fake smile. He looked more strange than before just like I have never seen him before..With out looking at me,he stepped in to the room with a hurry
Our lecturer practically sighed at his appearance, “Thanks for finally showing up in this class, Mr. Rochester,” She said, rather sarcastically.
“Oh, you’re very welcome, then – no big deal,” Said William lightly, shrugging.

“Of course….Students…Look whether it’s going to rain today!” She added more!

With her joke,the whole class room busted out in to laugh horribly…Without a word,William stood up in the same position…

“I think I have a space left for you…Sit next to Jasmine” She sighed…

“Jasmine, who?” William scanned the classroom with his eagle-like eyes, and our eyes met.
“Well, there’s only one Jasmine, I guess,”
GOD!  Why did I have this feeling that he was a trouble?

I spontaneously glared at him as he walked his way along the aisle, to the only seat next to mine. Now, if he sat there, he’ d practically be my chair mate. And the problem was :
WE WERE LIKE STRANGERS! He didn’t even look at me unlike before..So did I! I couldn’t hide the frustration which ran through my eyes…
I didn’t mean to be negative neither antipathy at him, but if it wasn’t because of him, I wouldn’t have to rack my head like this, and be anxious all the time.

William stuffed what seemed like his empty bag, and a magazine
All I could take as a conclusion was, he has no intention to have a class, nor to come to University! .
 

Seconds turned in to minutes and in to hours! But non of us spoke a single word…Both of us stared at the lecturer like fools… Though I wanted to explain everything,my mind was deeply scattering everything like never before…I felt him breathing hardly like a heart patient…. It was my unlucky to sit between Dastan and William..I felt like a lonely soul between two paths..Dastan the path of sincerity and honesty…William the path of Lust and Passion..

After an eternally long time,the lecture ended and I picked up my stuff faster as I could…My only hope was to run away from William and his world..I wanted to escape from the tons of questions which were stocked in-front of me…It was my bad to rest my happiness on some one’s hands like William! Now William is just an ink dot in my life..In-front of my eyes,It’s fading away..But I could not stop that!

Suddenly everything started becoming brutal in-front of me….

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Days went faster as usual…But nothing happened! No any good gesture from William! He acted as a stranger,each and every time we met…But he seemed more silent than before..He didn’t shout and enjoyed with his friends unlike before,He didn’t cuddled Cassie unlike before..It was a big change for me!

Both of us were like two unknown souls moving near without any reason to become lovers! I was not worthier to become his lover…At the same time I was the best for him!

Thousands of questions ran over my mind…But all of them were answer less

With those answer-less  questions,I decided to visit the river behind the university all alone…

I sat under a beautiful beech tree which was near the gurgling river… Birds darted gently swaying the branches above..The wonderful feel of summer made me quite comfortable…

“Ehhh” Suddenly some one coughed weakly…

As I turned around and found it was non other than the person which I never expected! WILLIAM! Standing in-front of me…!

I lowered my hands,raised my bowed head,looked up and found him staring at me…!