Faded Vanilla Twilight

“Hello Jazz……” Dastan’s voice came floating toward me through the passage with busy students…. “Where have you been…” I said,holding my backpack tightly…

He threw back his head and laughed…” I was not well…So I decided to take some rest…You didn’t call me even…what’s new?” He wanted to know…

“Oh I’m really sorry Dastan..I didn’t know that you were not well…Also I was not in a good mood too” I said,my voice steady,but my confidence already beginning to steep away..

“It’s okay Jazz…Cheer up…” He said,as if I might be un ware of that fact that It’s okay for not calling him….

“No It’s my fault actually..You were always with me but I was not with you in your most wanted times” I sounded sure of myself,even if I wasn’t exactly feeling that way..The only thing I was thinking about was W-I-L-L-I-A-M…But I never wanted to tell Dastan about that….

“C’mon leave it…So tell me what is new with you” Dastan said,his deep voice gripping with curiosity.. “Well…I’m dating someone…” I uttered with fear… I stared a while to observe his feelings… Dastan started turning red like a tomato.. “You are dating SOMEONE?…what does that mean?”

“Well..Nothing big despite that..Just to take an experience about guys…” I could tell Dastan was smiling…I could hear it in his voice.. “Thank god..That’s better..Thought that you are dating someone seriously to make him your lover….”

“Yes Dastan..I only want to make William jealous of me…” Though I wanted to tell those words…My hand started shaking…I dropped my hand so he wouldn’t see it shaking,But I couldn’t disguise the growing unsteadiness in my voice…. “Yah…I’m not serious”

I gave him a tough smile….

“I think your friends are waiting for you..” he said while pointing Stephanie and Roxanne whom were watching us at the canteen…

“Oh god…They always use to study at canteen..Thought they were at library…” I said in dismay..

“Hm..Okay Dastan..It’s great to see you again..I’d better go now..”

“Okay Jazz..See you later..”

After waving Dastan,I hurried to the canteen….

“Here you come..We were waiting for you from a long time..” Steffi said..

“I was searching for you two…” I cried..

“Thank God Dastan showed me you guys…” I comforted myself in a cozy seat…

“What is happening between you and that Jeramie?” Roxy said with a confused look..

“Nothing at all..Just hanging out..” I lied…

Then apparently seeing my expression..though I don’t know how…Steffi softened her tone..

“Jazz Jazz..what ever you are doing..Please be careful..I don’t think that Jeramie is good for you..” Steffi said,pulling one of her hands

I didn’t say anything.I don’t think that I could have spoken If I’d tried…It was hard enough to think…All I could think about was William and what he is doing… Soon I wanted to stop my crazy behavior…

“Are you listening…” Roxy said..I could feel her curiosity..

“Yah…” I chided….

“You are crazy..” Steffi snapped…

Before I could make any statement…I saw William coming towards me… “Here comes the other disaster…BACK BACK!” Roxy said…

“The main reason for Jasmine’s weird behavior is this guy…He has make her a total geek..” Steffi said in disgust..

“For your information..I DON’T THINK SO” I replied with sarcasm..

“Hey Jasmine…Can I have a word with you please…” William said with a toneless voice…

“Yah…Sure..” I said while standing

William had no any expression on his face..He just looked like a spooky statue without any feeling…

“Well..we are planning to have a small party tonight at Cassie’s place…So came to invite you and your friends…”

“Whoa..That’s awesome..” Steffi said with a cheerful voice…I stared at her with a curious look because before few minutes she accused William and now after hearing the word PARTY..she can’t even remember how she felt about him…

William gave her a soft smile…

“Looks like your friends accepted my invitation…” He said lowering his steady tone..

“Yes yes we all are coming” Roxy replied,before I make any word…

“Woww..Thanksss…” He said twisting his hands..

“when is the party” I questioned..

“Oops..I just forgot..You guys have a very small time to get prepare..Party is tonight..”

Unfortunately It was the most worst reply for me…It was a word that didn’t exactly engender the same response in William…

“Gosh..William I’m sorry I can’t come… I’m extremely sorry…” I replied shortly,with a worried expression..

“WHAT?” William,Stef and Roxy cried at once…

“William..Cant you remember that I have  a date with Jeramie tonight..We are going to watch a movie…So I can’t come..Hope you can understand me….”

“What do you mean? I didn’t know that… Hey you can make it on another day..You must come tonight..I hate the word NO..” William said ghastly with an angry look…

“Hey..Don’t lie..I told you about that yesterday..” I cried..

“No You didn’t..Also are you going to miss this occasion because of that Jeramie… huh?” William cried in dismay..

“That’s true..Come on Jazz..Lets go…” Roxy said…

Before I could think of something to say,he figured it out on his own..

“Fine…I’m totally disappointed..because I invited all my friends..So Wanted you to come to enjoy with us… Stupid of me…Thought that you feel the worth of our friendship and the helps we exchanged.. But now I know that you think about LOVE AFFAIRS more than the FRIENDSHIP…” Tonelessly he said…

I shrugged..I was like locked inside a cupboard…

Before I could think of something to say that would lighten the situation..or at least get his mind off from those stupid ideas…the last person in the world I wanted to live with WILLIAM..said in a quite difference tone… “Enjoy with Jeramie..I felt for you in a different way..That’s why I was disappointed..I’m sorry Jasmine… Hope your best friends will come..”

He turned to go..

“Look William..I didn’t…….” before I finish my words,William walked away from us….

Like a fool…I stood there in the middle of the canteen without saying any word…

**************************************************************************************

“Can you do that for me?”  Dastan said

I tuned in to what Dastan was saying to me a little to late…And I couldn’t ask “what was that..Dastan” because then he’d want to know what I’d been thinking about..Instead of playing attention to what he was saying…

“Can you” Dastan’s blue-eyed gaze bore into mine..What could I do but sallow and nod…

“Sure..” I said,not having the slightest idea what I was promising…

“That makes me feel better Jazz..” He said…

“So Can you help me now..I want to hand it over to our science teacher before evening..Are you free now”

Oh…Now I knew what he’d been talking about..Dastan wanted my help to finish his science assignment

But I was not in a good mood to help him..I was thinking about William all the time..It was my fault to hurt him like that…The words he said “I felt for you in a different way” Made me so pathetic,because How could I tell him that I never wanted to date Jeramie… I wanted William to realize my value..But eventually he has realized that I’m something to him..I’m sure that he likes me somewhere..There was no any need  to make him realize about me…He has already understood that we have a close bond between each other..So do I have to continue this dating ACT anymore..? No I don’t..I don’t want to do that..I must tell William about how I feel for him..I want to tell him that I like him in an unbelievable way..I want to express him how much I need him… I waited for a long time..But not anymore…  I was stunned and deeply hurt,so much so I felt mortally wounded,I was speechless..My lips gaped and I wanted to plead William for him to give me chance to express my real feelings..I wanted to confess everything…Hot,blinding tears stung my eyes..I struggled not to cry as Dastan was there…

“What are you thinking about Jasmine?” Dastan wanted to know…

“Ah No nothing…Dastan I think I should go now… Because I have something important to do..Please forgive me…I promise..I’ll help you with your assignment..But now I’m so helpless as well as not feeling good” I said while picking up my stuff..

Dastan gave me a soft look..

“Okay sure Jazz..No problem..Yes I trust you more than me… ” Dastan gave me a satisfying reply..

“Thanks a lot savior…” I said while leaving him…

I ran faster and faster like a cheetah… “I won’t lie to anyone again..Today I hurt William badly…I can’t do that with him… I cant loose the bond with him because of Jeramie..”

After a huge search I found Jeramie at the grounds with his friends..

“Hey Jasmine… Surprised after seeing you here..” Jeramie shouted,giving a narrow look

“I know that Jeramie… Well I just wanted to apologize from you”  confessed meaninglessly..

“apology for what…I can’t understand…”

“Well…I mean I never wanted to go out with you either date you..All I did was to make someone jealous of me being with another guy..I’m sorry I spoiled your valuable time…Also I cant go out with you tonight…” Those words eventually came out from my mouth

“Huh what? You mean what?”

“Gosh..cant you understand? Okay Simply I want to say what is..I CANT GO OUT WITH YOU..really sorry…” I said with an angry look

“But why? You said that you like to go…But why suddenly like this without any reason?” Jeramie said in dismay

“Because I like someone else…you got it?”

For an eternally long time Jeramie said nothing…

“Then why did you date me?”

“Look I did that because I was acting…. ”

“What the hell…You were acting?”

“Let me explain clearly Jeramie..I liked a guy…But he doesn’t like me..So I dated you because to make him jealous of me for being with guys…So now I think that I don’t have to act like that anymore…So I wanted to apologize from you..Please forgive me…”

Jeramie’s expressions started changing vastly…. “You are a slut..You used me..” He cried loudly..

As I was not in a mood to fight I chided “I know..I’m sorry…”

Before the problem become big,I moved away without making another word…I saw Jeramie telling his friends about the incident… “Another enemy”

The only thing I had to do is finding a place to sit alone……..

 

 

 

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“I can’t understand you Jasmine..Like I mean… You are so unreadable… ”  Stephanie claimed..

“She is correct…. You went out with Dastan and started hanging out with him..so we thought that you guys like each other from the way you two behaved..and now you are talking about someones else named Jeramie..What does it mean Jasmine? Are you taking everything as a joke or do you want to use guys? Just tell me..If you don’t like Dastan,then why did you went out with him like that?” Roxy leaned back,shaking her head..

I understood,what they felt but I didn’t want to explain them that I was doing everything to make William jealous of me…Probably they must be thinking that I playing with feelings of those two guys but I had a morbid interest on William..That’s why I had to use both Dastan and Jeramie in the same manner…I wanted William to pay attention on me instead of thinking about Cassie…

I anticipated all kinds of difficulties in getting Williams attention towards me… I even thought he’d pretend not to care about me a lot,or pretend he likes Cassie more than me,for I had not done one thing to make myself look like that old shy girl…And then,sitting in the window of the school canteen,I spotted William coming.He was laughing and talking expressively to a pretty girl seated across from him…This contingency had never brushed my mind,at least not seriously,that he could be seeing someone else…So there I stood in the lightly floor,not knowing what to do….

“Hey Jasmine…are you listening to us?” Destroying all my thoughts,Stephanie tickled me…

“Oh yah I am…..” I replied shortly…

“It’s getting near for our exams…I didn’t even touch a book” Roxy said..

“Me either…” Stephanie agreed

I couldn’t reply because I was watching William and the pretty girl who was chilling with him….

I sighed wistfully for all my wishes that seemed never to come true…And then…While I disbelieved what my eyes saw,William leaned across the table and teased that girl’s face with his lips,ending up in a real kiss,the kind that lasted and lasted…

I hated him!!!! I hated her!!!! Be damned on you,William Rochester…. You are no different from any other guy on the make…

I spun on my heel,not realizing the tiles would be so slippery.and down I went,flat on my back.Ungainly sprawled,I stared up at the wooden roof,totally stunned that I could have done something so stupid..I wasn’t hurt…I refused everyone who tried to assist me up…Stephanie and Roxy were crying,giving me their hands..But I ignored… and then William came faster towards me…His first words proved that he cared a bit about me as a friend…”My god Jasmine,what are you doing flat on your back?”

Without asking permission to help,he put his hands under my armpits and lifted me up..I struggled to keep my footing,and that forced me to cling on him,amusement sparkling in his eyes..”The next time you buy boots,I would try some with lower heels”

The girl who was with William was staring at us,with anger in her eyes…. “I can walk by my own…Thanks for the help William…” I greeted in a husky low voice,trying to hide my embarrassment.. I released my grip on him,having found my footing,then brushed dirt from my coat…

“Wait..wait Jasmine… I can help you,also you don’t need to thank me” William tried to grab my hand tightly..

I threw him an angry look that would have stung if looks could stub.”Your girl friend is waiting for you there….”

I whacked my hand and slipped out from the canteen… I heard William calling me from my behind,But I was so hurt and depressed to answer his questions…Instead of looking at him I held my back pack tightly…..

******************************************************************************

“So Jasmine White… another uncommon name to my ears…” Jeramie Brown narrowed his blue eyes towards me.. Both of us were having a nice team at a fancy coffee shop and we were trying to get know about each other..

“Yah.. It is…” I gave a short answer while observing around..

“You look so confused Jasmine..why is that?” again he questioned..

“No actually..I think it’s because you are a total stranger to me…”

“Stranger?? Me…ha ha..Yah I know about girls..Well you are correct from your side..But I don’t want you to think about me as a creepy stranger” he said while comforting himself on the cozy chair

“I know,I know..So tell me about you..”

“About me…Hmphh.. Well I’m a typical guy.. Also fun loving..a music maniac…..Hmm.. what else..” He replied shortly

“That’s quite enough for now I think..” I giggled

he gave me a creepy look..

“Tell me about you then..”

“Okay…I like to define myself under few words… Shy… Straight forward… Quick-tempered..also addicted to books..I love traveling and reading…That’s why I’m quite different from other girls…” I explained awkwardly..

“Uh..But you don’t look like that from your girls..Aren’t you?” He said with a husky voice

“Ya.. I agree..But clothes cannot change peoples inner appearances..They only change the outer appearance…” I gave a wise answer.

Jeramie took a while to observe me.. he started biting his lower lip just like he was a philosopher.. “You are so intelligent..also interesting.. I like that big difference in you…”

“Thanks..My pleasure to hear that you like my traits..”

“Yes I do..Of course girls must be quick-tempered,because they need that strongly to handle guys…So you owe it”

Jeramie was not the boy whom I thought of..He looked more like a broad thinker…

“But guys don’t like such kind of girls right?” I questioned..

It took him a long time to reply…He sipped his coffee slowly…

“Well..most of the guys don’t..But personally I admire such kind of girls….By the way..I saw you hanging out with Dastan Southee..Any thing special going between you..If so..I’m doing something bad by thinking about you..”

Jeramie was really impressive..He should be more than 50 years..that much he talked so wisely,which I thoroughly liked…

“Oh no…Dastan is just a friend and just spent time with him to get know more about him…” I lied!!!!

I never wanted to hell Jeramie,the truth about how I really feel for William..and about using Dastan..

“That’s not a big deal..You must try guys before making a decision..Even I’m not telling you to think about me,this much soon..But let me give  a try to win your heart first..But first of all,we must get know about each other as we hardly know about us…Isn’t it?”

“I like the way you think about people..also I have no any objections to disagree with you…”

Jeramie laughed softly..

“I think this coffee shop doesn’t suit for that…What do you think?”

“You mean what? Going somewhere else?”

“Ah you got it… What about going for a movie..Don’t worry..I’m not compelling you..Just an suggestion because there we can get know about each other a lot with the fun and excitement.. It’s so boring here,so non of speak  a word..” I shrugged because I didn’t expect to go for a movie with Jeramie this soon…Also I didn’t want to date him..I just wanted to make William jealous of me for talking with guys and now everything was turning upside down ghastly without knowing…

But from any cost I had no any reason to reject Jeramie’s idea..Instead of saying NO,” That’s a great idea..I like that….” I finally said in a slow way..

“Oh great…Well I’m so impatient..If you don’t mind..Tomorrow is a better day…so what do you think?”

I took some time to reply because I was trying to remember whether I have any works to do on tomorrow…After realizing that It’s a free day, I agreed with him

“Okay then great..There’s a science-fiction movie named spirit..Let’s go to watch that movie okay..I will come near to the cinema..because I don’t think that it’s good to pick you up as still I’m a stranger for you..”

I smiled at Jeramie..he cared a lot about my dignity..That’s the best thing….

*************************************************************************

“Gosh you will never believed me William..Jeramie is amazing amazing amazing… He is so intelligent..I have never seen such kind of guy in my entire life period…I’m so lucky to date him..” I cried while William and I were going to the science lab..

“Laugh out loud ha ha..I’m jealous of Jeramie…” William put his tongue out  at me

“Stop teasing..I’m serious..I’m so impressed…”

I tried pretend that I was so excited and happy about meeting Jeramie..But it was a big lie..I didn’t even want to talk about Jeramie,in-front of William…. If William liked me too..I would never behave like a freak who is crazy for a guy like Jeramie..

I wanted to take the revenge from him,for kissing a girl in-front of me…

“So… What did he say?” After an eternally long time,William questioned…

“Today we are going for a movie…” I replied

My replied made William so confused and curious..

“What? are you crazy..Are you going for a movie with him..with a stranger like him? You even don’t know well about him..He is an ass-cracker..Don’t go..I’m telling you” He roared..

“Why what’s the big deal huh..I will go tonight…” I cried

“just don’t gooo..” He gave me an angry look..

“I will go..whats your problem?” I shouted at him..Hopefully he seemed a bit jealous..But he didn’t show me that he is jealous…

It was the only hope I had… As William didn’t want me to go with Jeramie..I had to go..Because I really needed William to get angry

“Because I don’t like Jeramie….. And you are my friend… ”

“What’s the point between being your friend and Jeramie…? Don’t be silly..I won’t miss this chance… Also you can spend the whole time with your girl friend..But what about me huh?” I hissed in a husky voice

“hey she is……….” “Enough..enough…” I replied,before he could say another word…

“May be you guys can come with us too..It would be fun and interesting..” I smiled at him in a cunning way…

“no thanks… I don’t care….it’s your life and your decisions…carry on..” William went away, passing me….

 

After deep thoughts of depression I decided to make William jealous of me and Dastan..So I held on Dastan tightly and wrapped my hands around him…I felt his warmth because his body was pressed against mine..I moved according to a rhythm… Dastan held his face close to mine…he gripped me with his strong arms and plunged me in to him…

I saw William and Cassie watching us… They have stopped dancing and now they are watching us dancing.. “This is my chance” I thought…

Dastan held me close and tight..his face was close enough to mine to feel the sweet smell of his perfume…his brown eyes looked in to mine like he waited to that from a long time…I closed my eyes for a while to figure out everything….While I was thinking he pressed his cheek against mine… I gasped and opened my eyes again to see whats happening….His face gleamed, he felt awestruck…Without any effort he closed his lips in to mine… It was something which I never wanted to happen..my face started getting pale..I wanted to pull him away but as William and Cassie was watching us..I tried to control myself..Which means I had to let Dastan to kiss me….

“Hey….” Just as a ghost came between us,I heard William shouting

“Guys…There’s a fortune-teller over there…Don’t you guys like to join us,instead of dancing.” William said… He had a strong expression on his face and he didn’t look at me… I didn’t want to look at him either..Because I felt so shy..

I turned to Dastan..”It sounds interesting..Shall we go”

Dastan’s face was burning with anger,because of the disturbance…But it was not a disturbance to me..It was a big help and big relief..If William didn’t do like that I would have to kiss DASTAN..which I horribly unlike!!!

I started feeling normal and I tried to stay away from Dastan because I feared that he will come to kiss me again….

“Okay…” After an eternally long time Dastan replied…

Four of us slipped in to the fortune tellers tent….

“Welcome welcome my children..Please get inside” A big fat lady wearing a violet tiara loudly said….

“Is this really works” Cassie questioned

They lady gave her a suspicious look,”No any experience before from fortune-telling young lady?”

“Never..It’s my first time..”Cassie said nervously..

Fat lady gave her a cunning smile..”Then you must come at first”

Cassie looked at us,”I don’t trust these things..But I must give a little try”

The fat lady pointed a door saying,”Go over there”

Cassie hurried to the door and disappeared…

William me and Dastan were left alone in the tent…. Non of us speak anything instead of staring at each other..Though I wanted to break the silence I couldn’t do it…

William turned to me without telling a single word… I felt that he was observing me deeply…

“Do you play with LOVE?”

what he said made me shiver a bit,for it seemed I could have no secrets from him..and yet as he stood there looking me over with a great deal of approval,something proud sprang in to my spine and made me stand taller….And something warm and sweet between us seemed very surprised and just as pleased,”Why are you asking so?”

before William answer me Cassie arrived…She had a gloomy expression on her face..

“She is a slut..” Cassie hugged William tightly…

“Hey hey What happened Cassie” William asked…

“I told her the truth….” The fat lady appeared in-front of us…

“Come on let’s go..this is useless..see now Cassie is upset too” Dastan roared…. William agreed to him and moved out from the tent..

But my legs were not moving just as they needed me to face the fortune-teller..

“Look wait” I sighed..

“Let me try…”

“What are you nuts Jasmine..fortune telling is stupid….its good for day dreamers” Dastan said with disguise…

I gave him a tough smile,”Even I’m a day dreamer too..Let me give a try” I ran in to tent and saw the fat lady waiting for me

“I knew it..that you will come” She said with a cunning glance… and signaled me to get inside the door which Cassie went through

Without saying anything I went in through the door…It was a corridor and ended from a big Gothic looking room..The room looked so horrible with weird-looking photos and furniture…In the middle of the room,there was a round table and on it there was a big white ball with gas inside…

I have read about fortune tellers from books saw I could easily realize that it was the magic ball which shows everything to the fortune-teller…

She signaled me to sit in a small chair in-front of the table

“Humm..Let’s take a look about your future my child..”She said while touching the glass ball..Suddenly the glass ball started shaking and the gas started moving inside it…Fat lady closed her eyes and thousands of horrible expressions came in to her face…I held my legs tightly because I felt so scared with her terrible look… After few seconds she opened her eyes and her eyes were looking horrible

” You are in a junction of two paths my child…” She continued

“You have to choose the correct path out of the two paths….”

“What path? I can’t understand..Explain me..” I said suspiciously..I was so feared because she talked like a man…

“You are in love my child..You are in love with a guy…Now your only hope is to win his love…You will win him..But mind this it would be the worst decision in your life..Not because your choice is wrong..it’s because you both are in danger….” She whispered in a male voice..

I wanted to run out from the tent but my knees started weakening.. “What what kind of danger and who is he…” I murmured..

“Evil..Evil is after you..Beware!!! Beware!!!! Beware!!! You will win your love also you will lost everything soon!!!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhh” she cried horribly like someone tried to kill her

Her voice was so loud and horrible so I closed my hands…and eyes both.I started shivering from fear…It was my foolishness to come to her..

For an eternally long time I heard nothing,so I decided to open my eyes and saw her drinking water from a jug..

“Huh…” I gasped..

I didn’t wast a single second..I stood up and hurried out from the tent ghastly…. I saw William,Dastan and Cassie standing in-front of the tent when I approached..

“What happened? We heard someone crying..was that you..” William asked hurriedly

“Look she said that I’m in…….” I stopped,because I thought that they wont believe those things..

“Uh..Nothing..Let’s go” I tried to change the topic…..

Three of them sigh and agreed….

**********************************************************************************

“OMG…wish that we could be with you on last night….” Roxy insisted

“I told you before..but you didn’t come and now you guys are complaining..” I said faster…

“Okay okay…It’s our fault..so whats going on between you two” Stephanie chuckled..

“Between whom?”

“Idiot…I’m asking about you and Dastan” Stephanie cried in dismay..

How could I tell them that I was planning to make William jealous of me and Dastan…They would think that I was using Dastan to make my wishes come true…. They wouldn’t know that I like William…They’d presume that William was just any young man with crazy friends,uncouth and uncultured….

“There is nothing like that..Just friends…Most of the Uni girls are interested on Dastan and I WISH THAT HE CAN DATE SOMEONE SOON”

Both Roxy and Steffi exchanged doubtful glances..

“What? which means you guys don’t love each other…” Roxy asked

“No man.. No!!”

“Then why the hell do you go out with him” Stephanie roared..

“Just because we are best friends…” I replied and hurried passing both of them…All I wanted is to escape from their bloody questions..I didn’t have any single word to spit out as answers for their endless questions…Both of them were like questions papers…

I had no any place to go..So I rushed in to a dark corridor which lead to the library..It was the only place,I had to go..

Suddenly I heard someone’s footsteps following me..I turned back and caught that it was William.. “Damn him…Now he will be my other question paper..”

“Hey yo…” William waved

“Hey..” I waved him back..

“Wait for me wait for me..” he said while running towards me..

“So how’s the day..” He asked..

“Good..yours?”

“yeah same..”

Both of us walked slowly,but non of speak a single word…

We walked and walked like we don’t have any hope..

“So,May I ask you something…” William said while observing my eyes

I shrugged because I predicted about that earlier

“Okay…Go ahead..”

“Hmm… Is there anything between you and Dastan”

It was the horrible question from him which I waited for…. I had no any answer to give him because from one side I wanted him make William jealous of me and Dastan and also from the other side I wanted William to realize the real me!

“Well…There is nothing like that..But I like him..” I smiled

He gave me a tough smile.. “Oh that’s good”

“Good?”

“I mean… Just said..” Again he gave me a tough smile… I felt so uncomfortable..I realized that he was feeling the same thing..

“Look William..I must say you this..I really like you..More than anyone here..I don’t know whether it’s love or friendship.I don’t like to see you with Cassie together..Please understand me..Don’t be so rude to me..what’s my fault” My heart shouted loudly..But unfortunately I couldn’t convert those in to words to let William hear…

“So don’t you have anyone special that you like a lot…” again he questioned

“Yes it’s you William” my heart again cried..

“Well I don’t but will meet soon…” I smiled

My heart beat faster,louder as I told my lie that should have been the truth.Something he detected in my expression or tone made his eyes narrow as he weighed my words…Shrewd,sophisticated eyes that seemed to know all the wicked and tricky ways of the world…Long seconds passed as those observant eyes took in my forced calmness,my feigned assurance that struggled to show only innocence,and perhaps I have convinced him,for he smiled. “That’s great…all the best” He said with a gloomy look…

“Jasmine…” Before I give him a reply..I saw someone waving at me…

“Who’s that..” I asked from William because I didn’t recognize the person..he looked so strong and handsome with a blonde hair..

“Oh..that’s Jeramie..Another attractive figure at Uni…” William explained..

“I think he is talking to me..If you don’t mind would you give me a minute to talk with him please”

“Oh yeah sure..take your time..I’ll wait” William said with pleasure

I walked slowly towards the person named Jeramie..

“Hey Jasmine..” Jeramie said..he had a charming laugh,but not much as William had..

“Hi..Do I know you..”

“You don’t have to know me to talk with me baby..” His words made me sigh..because I didn’t like him calling me BABY!

“oh that’s correct..so?”

“So…I saw you a lot of times here and felt that you are so interesting…So decided to talk few words with you…” His words were surprising because he called me INTERESTING…

“That’s great…. ” I smiled

“Maybe we should go out somewhere and just hang out..You know” From his words I realized that he wants to DATE me..Guys are so stupid..They cant even tell the exact thing they need directly..I felt so disgusted with Jeramie’s words..

I looked at William..He was whacking his leg like a crown.. “Sorry Jeramie I can’t go with you…” Instead of that answer I told “yeah sure why not..I would love to..”

“Wow cool..SO what about tomorrow evening about 5 pm….at Bravo coffee shop..”

“Yeah..sure I will be there..”

“Okay… then we can get know about each other a lot on tomorrow…Then go ahead with your works..See you soon” He said while leaving…I waved at him and he waved at me back

 

“Whoa whoa..What happened with him..He looked so flirty” William asked suspiciously..

“Yes he is..He wants to date me..” I cried cheerfully

Though it sounded fun to me..William didn’t feel like that…

“What the hell? You didn’t say YES right?” William said while taking a deep breath..

“No man..I said YES…Isn’t it great” I laughed..

“WHAT????????????????????” William roared…

“Yeah..what’s the big deal there?” I asked him

“No nothing..I have to go now..See ya later…” William said faster and louder…

“hey..” before I say any word he left me alone….

“Hmm…I don’t think that you care about me anymore…and also you don’t feel anything for me…” I murmured to myself,watching him walking away…

But I was so wrong!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

“Carnival?” Stephanie sighed…. It was gloomy Tuesday afternoon and we were spending the last couple of hours at the Uni… I told Stephanie and Roxy about the carnival and they didn’t show any interest..They thought that a Carnival suits for babies… “Yeah..It would be fun…Aren’t you guys coming? I will miss you both so much” I said with a gloomy mood

“I don’t like carnivals…They are just stupid and so childish…” Stephanie complained

“Yes…It is Jazz…I love clubbing…ONLY CLUBBING!” roxy added her idea’s

“Is this how you entertain yourself…Going for carnivals and taking childish fun”Steffi chuckled…

“Hell…you are a prankster….” I shouted

Suddenly roxy’s nervous look was staring behind me..So I turned around to see what’s happening….

It was William and Cassie whom were holding each other tightly…. William closed her face in to Cassie but Cassie pushed him away saying,”Just stop…Maybe tonight”

William gave him a ghast smile,”Sure”

Finally,just when I believed that William was never going to be with Cassie,he showed up that he belongs for Cassie…IN-FRONT OF ME!

“whoa…they are romancing” Stephanie joked..

I hadn’t any word.And here was William blithely making me hurt,when he never wanted to understand how I feel for him…Not after what he’d done..It hurt to feel that William could do evil and never be punished,at least not enough! That good thoughts I used to feel so necessary in my life were growing fainter and fainter in my memory…and that scared me..My heart was no longer feeling the sharp anguish of getting hurt by William,and I couldn’t allow that to happen because I knew that William won’t understand me… I had to keep my flame of silence alive,keep it new and raw,and never allow the passing of time to slave the wounds of my feelings that had delivered because of William..

So I said nothing,just pretended  like I didn’t see them…

**********************************************************************************

Right as I promised Dastan I got prepared for the carnival and waited outside my house for him… It was about five Pm and as it was so cold around me..I shivered like I was living in ice-land…  Suddenly William came in to my thoughts….The things which happened between Cassie and William attacked my mind harmfully..I felt so angry because I hate so much to see them together in-front me chilling and thrilling like lovers..I couldn’t find any reason for hating that..The only thing I knew was I really liked William non than anything in this world…But I didn’t know the real meaning of Liking him…

While I was thinking about William I saw Dastan’s car arriving near me…

He signaled me saying to get in to the car…So I hurried towards the vehicle and slipped in to it while slamming the vehicle door ghastly..

“Oops I’m sorry..I just closed it loudly..” I confessed

Dastan gave me a tight smile

“It’s okay Jazz..I do the same”

It was a relief as he didn’t care about my weird behavior…

“You look beautiful today with the black dress”Dastan said while looking at me

I said him nothing,just gave him a soft smile…

Until we reach the exact place both of us speak nothing..Both of us remained silent… I was surprised by his different behavior but as I didn’t want to make him feel bad I stared like a stare-crow…

After few minutes we approached to the carnival and it looked so colorful with the fancy looking people and with the beautiful vintage colors….Carnival was fulled with bunches of people whom were walking here and there enjoying the stalls at the carnival…

“Omg..what a huge crowed..can’t believe..I said while taking a step backwards…

“So what…C’mon lets go and enjoy…” Dastan cried from the loudness while pulling me from my hand…

He ran fastly while grabbing my hand..I had to balance myself because he ran so weirdly and ghastly..We rushed through the crowed as we stopped near a merry-go-round… “want to go a ride on that thing?” Dastan said curiously

“It’s not a that thing..It’s a merry-go-round” I said while giving a soft laugh..

He nodded shyly and paid the man who was controlling the merry-go-round and bought tickets…. We both tucked in to the merry-go-round and I chose an Elephant to sit on and he chose a horse…

It was so interesting and while I was sitting on the Elephant I screamed like a small kid…

After the ride on the merry go round,we both went to an ice-cream stall..

“Vanilla or Chocolate?” Dastan asked while looking around

“Chocolate” I replied

“Oh..I hate Chocolate..I love Vanilla” Dastan said in disguise…

“Different favors” I smiled and danced like a crown…

“Yeah….So sad” Dastan gave me a sad look…

I laughed because he looked so funky with the fake sad look

“Hey look over there” Suddenly Dastan pointed the hamburger stall next to the ice-cream stall… “What’s the special there” I said while looking quietly at the hamburger stall,While not recognizing anything special

“Look that’s William and Cassie” Dastan’s word gave me goose-bumps

“What..where?” I said while leaning upwards curiously

“Look…behind the ham burger truck” Dastan whispered

He was correct..It was William and Cassie whom were enjoying ham burgers behind the stall…. They looked so cheerful and happy..

Unfortunately Cassie caught me watching them….He whispered something to William and he turned to me… I hurriedly turned around,to pretend that I didn’t see them….

Oh damn him..double damn him…I was stung by his cold look…

Just as I feared,when finally I had the nerve to look so strong…

“Well,what a pretty picture you make,Jasmine” Dastan sang out… “I love this color dress,that you are wearing….It’s very becoming though I don’t remember you wearing it before” He frowned a little as he reflected,while my breath caught and held…I was thinking about William all the time..So I didn’t reply Dastan….

“Your ice cream has melted…” Dastan warned me cutting off my thoughts..I looked at my ice-cream and realized that it has melted while destroying my silver scarf which I wore around my neck..So I had to take it off from my neck..

“Whoa..You look great without that Scarf..” Dastan said while leaning towards me…

I said him nothing because I was so angry to see William and Cassie together

“Man..You didn’t tell anything..I chattered too much..But you don’t even smile now” Dastan complained,breaking my silence

I tried to find words,to answer him…The only statement which came in to my mind was,”Look over next to the merry go round..People are dancing there…Don’t you like to dance with me”

I was amazed because of my own words..But those words brought a soft smile to Dastan…..

“Sure…” He said while taking my hand….

Both of us went to the place where the people were dancing…A Latin song was playing and people were dancing according to its sweet rhythm  like crazy people…..

While I was staring at those people..I saw William and Cassie entering to the dance floor..They looked like they have become lovers….

Suddenly Cassie started moving slowly according to the tune of the Latin song..So did William…They whirled round and round…Cassie laughed loudly because she looked so surprised… I felt so bad to see them both dancing together….

While I was watching them,Dastan invited me to the dance floor….He caught my hand softly and moved slowly just like Cassie did..I had no any mood of dancing..but as I was the one who brought the idea of dancing,I had to dance somehow….. Though I was dancing with Dastan my eyes on William and Cassie..Both of them enjoyed their dance….

I felt so hurt by their behavior…. William didn’t even look at me..just like he was on Cassie’s world

I thought of doing something to take his attention to my side… It was the most horrible idea in my life ever!!

“Okay Jasmine… You are going to be confident enough to face the society now!” I said curiously to myself,taking a deep breath….It was a bright Monday morning and I was on my way to the Uni…I was horribly confused because I had a huge make over with in the past two days… According to the advices given by William,I went on shopping to buy new clothes and they were looking too posh and expensive….all of them were looking so unfamiliar to me but I really needed to buy them…So I bought tight leggings,blouses ankle boots and everything which I felt GOOD!

I ghastly hurried through the university gate and confusingly found out that all the students were WATCHING ME! It was so uncomfortable to bear it because I was a shy girl… As I badly needed to prove them that I’m not different,I ignored their glances….I walked normally just like the other girls..I saw students showing me to their friends and whispering to each other…I didn’t spend any time to look at them..Because I was totally down to earth on that time….

I never became on of the select in the University…but at least the majority of the students accepted me for what I was,different and independent in a shy and uncertain way…Subconsciously I had found the same old shield that I had used in my old university; indifferent,that’s what I’d pretend to be…But personally to win someones heart I had to change myself….But I knew that my change would create me so many enemies…Let them throw slings and arrows,what did I care? I was here,where I wanted to be,and that was enough…All need to play tricks on me,But I was too much embarrassed to realize it clearly….

Floating in my thoughts I hurried to the class room to see my two best friends…

“Oh my gosh!!!! Jasmine….Is this you???????????????????” Stephanie cried,when I entered to the class room..Her words made my knees weak..Because I didn’t expect those words from her.. she knew that I was going to change myself…. With her words all the other students turned and stared at me like they have never seen me before..Among the students who stared at me I saw William and Dastan watching me curiously…Dastan had a confused and a amusing look and so does William… For and eternally long time I stood in the same position… Realizing my uncomfortableness,Roxy pulled from my hand..

“Hey…are you going to stand their whole the day..C’mon take a sit…”Her words were a big relief to me…

“Nice ankle boots and nice dress..It’s amazing” Stephanie whirled watching me..

“Stephanie!!! Please don’t discomfort me” I yelled in dismay..

“Oh sorry..But you look really great I mean..You look so beautiful..I’m jealous ha” Stephanie said while whacking her hair…

“Thanks… Can’t you see,Still all are staring at me..I feel so bad” I summed…

“They are looking at you because you look great today..You should be proud of you…” Roxy tried to cheer me up

I gave her a soft smile

“Don’t worry..It will become alright after a while”

Proving Stephanie’s words all the students got adapted to my new look and they behaved like same before…I felt fine with their normal behavior…But I noticed something special,which is almost all the students gave me friendly smiles,even the people who joked me before… Specially boys were interested in talking with me like never before..I was so excited with the new conditions around me… But all those amazing things happened because of William..

After the class I walked to my locker,to pick some note books….

“Where did you hide your beauty before young lady” Suddenly William appeared next to me and he put his head over the locker door as he was taller than the locker..

“It’s all because of you William..I’m really grateful..You taught me to enjoy the life…” I cried at him with a deep smile…

William gave me a lustful smile,” Even I feel to date you now…I’m sure you will get so many proposals from the guys here…But……”

“They just need that because of your new look,not because they like you truly..So DON’T DATE Okay!”

“Oopz…. Can’t believe that you talked about TRUE LOVE…!” I chuckled…

William gave me a anxious look..

“You think, that I don’t know about LOVE right?”He asked,seemingly very worried…

“No no I mean it because you have so many female friends and you are so closer to them..and…”

“and what?”

“And I mean…. I mean… you hang out with ’em always.. and anyone of them aren’t special for you..That’s what I told you..and also you told that you like Cassie…but you have no any affair with her right..So I can’t name it as TRUE LOVE!” I explained

“Ha ha….You have the question about ME HANGING OUT WITH GIRLS!” He urged

“No no…It’s not like that..I meant what is,when you talk with them so closely I always felt that you have secret affairs with those girls So I thought about you as a play boy!” My words made him so angry

“You know what..You are so stupid..If you were a boy I will surely slap on your face..But I can’t hurt your soft beautiful face young lady”

“and also…Talking with girls doesn’t mean that I have affairs with them…yes I have close connections with girls… But I don’t like them as lovers..Also I have a morbid interest on Cassie..But I’m not sure whether it is LOVE or not..So I’m taking time to figure out the things okay” He roared…

“Come on…chill man…I was just expressing what I felt..Don’t worry I’m sure,you will get a perfect girl” I tried to change the topic

“I don’t have any idea of flirting with any one after three affairs….” he giggled…

“You must have done everything with them” it was a stupid question by me…

“everything means what?”

“everything means everything….you mean reaching the limits and blah blah”

His lusty smile proved me that understood what I meant…

“hell no….I’m not a play boy…mind one thing…. devil is not black as we think” Answering my question he went away….

I wanted him to stay but I couldn’t tell it…….

************************************************************************

“How do you entertain yourself during the weekend..” Dastan asked,when he saw me scurrying from the library with an armful of books..

“Studying,that’s how,” I said with a little laugh..

“There’s so much I thought I knew but I don’t.So If my mom doesn’t mind..I’m going to lock myself up in my bedroom and cram”

I heard his heavy sigh. “There’s a carnival in the city…I was hoping you and I could make a day of it,Doing some shopping and so on”

“Oh ask me again Dastan,Please do…For there’s nothing in this world that I would rather do than visiting the carnival”

For a moment he appeared startled.Then a slow grin spread on his handsome face. “You mean you really wanna go with me? How wonderful…You are great…and also Jasmine..You look awesome than any other day”

“Oh…Thanks” I asked,totally astonished…

“So what about tomorrow?”

“Yes..tomorrow is a perfect day..”

“Okay then..I will be there at your home around 5 and wait for me…” He said

“Yes sure… Dastan” I replied…..

” Lana screwed everything from a single word…” Stephanie urged with her usual frustrated look..

“It’s not Lana…It’s me who screwed everything..I shouldn’t tell like that…It’s all my fault and now I have received a punishment for that…Dastan is not talking with me..” I sighed.. Though I tried to catch him even through the phone he didn’t talk with me… I was so worrying about Dastan but I had nothing left to do about him…So as William advised I decided to stay aside while Dastan come to me…

“C’mon it’s all gone now…He will talk with you soon,He needs a refreshment I mean he need to adapt in to the situation…” Roxy tried to cheer me up

“What do you mean?” Stephanie questioned

“I mean…as he is a different guy..I mean we all have to agree that Dastan is not like William and the other guys here..He is bit different..That’s why he got hurt for Jasmine’s words…In-fact he must be intelligent enough to understand that it’s just another simple incident..So until he figure out that fact,Jazz You should keep calm…”

Roxy was correct..I never wanted to insult Dastan..I just wanted to accuse Lana…Dastan is intelligent and I’m sure that he will understand that I have done nothing to make him hurt…

Suddenly I saw William watching us from outside through an opened window… with a great show of bravery,and a flourish of his hand,waving farewell as he called “Hey….”he crawled through the round opening while the strong heavy window was held open by one of his friends….

with William out of sight,the window was released and with a loud bang it slammed shut.Beyond and out of sight he was telling the world in a loud,shilling yell that it was FUN fun!!!!!

Then,quicker than I anticipated,came a different kind of laugh.Horrified! Disgusted! Anguished!

“Ahahhh….William is spending most of his time to think about Jasmine White” Said another boy,I didn’t turn to identify

I heard all laughing at me… It was a disgusted laugh…It was just like they were laughing at a stripper…

Stephanie leaned to whisper “They are crazy… Almost all of the girls are jealous of you now”

“JEALOUS OF ME?”

“Yes,I heard them talking about your prom dress…You were the most gorgeous there” Roxy continued

I didn’t know what to think…Far away William’s friends were laughing and sobbing…

Finally William opened his mouth “Okay guys! Did you have fun? so shall we stop now?” It was the most hilarious statement made by him ever

It brought a soft smile in to my face…William caught me laughing for his words and laughed at me back…

“Hey..what’s going on between you two?” Suddenly Stephanie pulled from my hand

“Nothing…”I shouted and ignored her…

both of the girls grew quite…

I was so irritated with the situation so I stood up and went out from the class room,collecting my stuff…

I saw William coming after me…

“Hey….” He came running to me from behind..

He managed to drag my hand tightly…

“Why?” I whacked my hand away

“Are you angry with me? There’s no any fault with me okay..”William pleaded..He had an innocent look on his eyes…I felt like my heart is melting in front of his eyes…But I couldn’t control my anger..Because I never wanted to get insulted by stupid friends of him…

“Angry oh no..I’m not..Fun is Fun…It’s not dangerous and insulting and embarrassing physically goes bee and the rest of you can go yours..I’m no one to stop you guys….” I said coldly,the memory of those things which William did to me had left me weak still very much with me

“I can see your eyes burning with anger” William replied with an anxious look…

“Non of your business… It’s because I’m single I can hang out with a male friend..” I insisted

“So are you going to find a guy?” William chuckle,exposing my shame,and resentment and hostility because all thought that I’m not a posh girl…

I had somehow to manage to be a posh girl..

“Why are you giggling? do you think that I can’t huh?” I roared…

“No no..I never meant that Jazz…But with the way you are..I don’t think that it’s fair possible to find a guy ” William said controlling his laugh…

he had a serious look on his face…

“The way I am? What’s wrong with me? Am I ugly?” I said with a depressed feeling..I was hurt,because with those words he wanted to prove that I’m different from others….

“Hey hey…You always think wrong about my comments….Listen..I’m taking about the way you behave,the way you dress and also the way you react… You have to control patience..I mean for everything you react fastly..Just see when you heard my friends joking on you..You left the room..But a decent posh girl never does that…You have to understand”

“Oh” I answered in a new,nonchalant way, “So what do you want me to do to be POSH”

A big surprised look came in to his eyes after I said that…

“Here you go…. If you want to find a handsome guy..You must change yourself..If not you will be girl friend of another geek”

I shooed my head with disguise

“Okay…Tell me what kind of change do I need?” I questioned

His eyes were sparkling with excitement,”You have to change your clothes first…Don’t wear those common T-shirts and jeans with sneakers…You will get the exact look which you had on the prom day..If you wear the things like leather leggings,skinny pants,ankle boots,blouses,silk dresses,draped dresses…”

“Whoah…hold on hold on…How do you know about ladies clothing’s? You sounds HOMO” I urged…

“Ha ha…You know what I had 3 girl friends earlier..I have seen their wardrobes.. I’m a full packed guy with experiences” William said while raising his hands to the air…

“So funny…3 girl friends? But what happened with them?” I asked curiously

“What you want me to do with them? I just broke up..Because though they were beautiful..They had no brain….” William replied, biting his upper lip.

“So what..You are a tricky person you can change them..Just like you are doing with me…They are luckier than me..They have even beauty..I don’t have them both” I giggled while closing one of my eyes and signalling him…

William laughed broadly,”No you have misunderstood about you..You are not ugly either a fool..You look so beautiful..Even than Cassie..But you haven’t made something to let your beauty come out..So no one can recognize your beauty..And also you are intelligent..Remember we got the highest marks for the project..Only because of you..So never ever try to think in a  negative way about you….”

His words made me to think how precious I am…But I had no any brain to show my preciousness to others…William is so correct..

“Truly you can read people….. ” I gave him a friendly smile

“Look..now you are cool and calm…what happened to that read hot anger which existed few minutes before” William laughed

“You vanished it away…Just like a detergent…”

“Yes I am…So let me vanish all the negative feelings with you…So are you ready to follow my instructions..In order to feel a lovely difference in you” William bowed his head…

“Actually..I don’t want any guy..I just need to prove others that I’m not different..”

“Yes surely you will..So it’s Saturday tomorrow..You can have a big time on doing some shopping..Don’t forget to buy the clothes which I mentioned earlier…And also you need to change your hair do..I mean it’s straight more than needed…” He complained while running his fingers through my hair

“It’s not straight…” I cried at him

“I just hate your hair” William hissed

“Gosh…Okay okay..I will do whatever you say okay… Promise…Help me…” I turned to him with heartfelt of hopes..

“No worries young lady…”

Cutting off his words,the bell rang loudly..It was the end of the day at the Uni..

“Thanks William…See you on tomorrow.” I said waving at him

“No problem..Have a fresh and an awesome weekend…” He gave me a big smile

*******************************************************************************

“Mom…I think it’s good to do some shopping tomorrow” I said,while I was helping mom with the dishes..

“That’s a great idea honey…” Mom replied…

I was so excited about the change that I’m going to feel soon with in me…I was grateful to William for making me happy even for a second with his sweet words..Really William was so sweet… though he was rude at first,he gave me sudden surprises with his helps…

I had a special interest on this guy..But I couldn’t realize the exact reason for being interested on him… I really admired the way he make a person calm with his charming words…

While I was thinking I heard my phone ringing…

“Hi Jazz..” It was Dastan and I was extremely happy to hear his voice

“Gosh Dastan..How many Times did I call you? You never replied me either talked..I missed you so much..” I chattered without taking any breath…

“I’m sorry Jasmine..I was too fast to scold you like that..I know that there’s no any fault with you… You did it to make Lana angry..but I was bit hurt because I thought that I’m no one to you…Will you forgive me please” Dastan said with his usual soft voice..

“No I must be sorry too..I’m really sorry..I was too angry during that time..” I confessed

“It’s ok Jazz…It’s all gone now..Let’s be as before”

“yeah….” I wanted to tell him about William but as Dastan hate him,I said nothing about my conversation with William….

I felt so happy,because everything were happening perfectly

“This will be the best time of my life…” I yelled

But I never thought that my difference will make me to feel the glimpse of romance unexpectedly….

“It was a stupid fight between Dastan and William… They were like brainless people… Isn’t it?” Roxy yelled as we approached the school canteen..

“Yes,indeed much too mature.But they are boys Roxy.boys are always like that” That’s what I felt about the previous night.. I was a bit late on the purpose last night,wanting to make my impression by coming..and Oh,I did make an impression..Two guys fought because of me..

I saw all Lana and her friends staring at me,beginning to show toothy,knowing grins.For a flashing moment I considered spinning about and running and leaving the Uni for good…Then,as if unable to turn,or run I braced myself and tried to saunter nonchalantly in to the canteen as if all my life I’d known how to react… And they came at me fast,Lana and her friends… For the first time in my entire life,It was not only Cassie who had been to proud about her self as she was having guys around her…

“We know that there’s an affair between you too” Lana urged…  “What?” I yelled suspiciously. I tried to ignore her question,But she kept asking me things about Dastan… I couldn’t bear her nuisance saw I cried at her loudly “Can you please shut your mouth up huh? What do you want? To sleep with Dastan or what? Why are you asking me useless things about Dastan? I don’t have any feel towards Dastan like that and also if you want him to date..please go ahead and ask from him directly without fooling around here…”

Lana spoke nothing,instead of that her eyes were bulged at someone behind me… Her creepy look made me to turn back to check the person behind me… I turned around angrily and found that it was DASTAN,standing behind me…

He had a hurtful expression on his face,just like he is upset about my comments…. “Thank you for everything… TO SLEEP WITH DASTAN? wow..what a nice sentence…” Dastan said softly..But it was so hurtful..his words were like arrows,going through my body…

“No..Dastan..I said what is…………..” I couldn’t speak any more…Dastan raised his hand towards me,signalling to stop talking…and he moved ghastly out from the canteen..I leaned forward to catch his hand..But as he was strong and fast..It was in vain… I stood up in the same position,watching him leaving… I didn’t go after him as I wanted!!! I had no any idea about the incident which happened…

“Ha ha,Looks like it’s a good time for me and a bad time for you” Said Lana whirling around me

“Go and check your face from a mirror..” I whispered to her and ran out from the canteen… “you too slut” I have heard her crying at me…

I ran and ran all around the uni to find him…but I couldn’t find him anywhere…. “Dastan where are you” I cried,holding my painful knees… I waned to explain him that u never meant to hurt him..all i wanted is to hurt lana…i never expected dastan behind me,listening to my words…. i felt so ashamed of myself…i have become a back stabber…william was correct.. thousands of horrible feelings attacked me with in a sigh….

My eyes went unfocused..the faces of the people went passing me smeared in to distorted images such as seen in fun=house mirrors…I hate Lana’s violating laugh… my head started aching so i sat on a dirty bench aside a huge willow tree in the uni garden…

“Jasmine” Called a voice…I realized that it was William’s voice..

” What happened? you look so deadly white?” William sat next to me with thousands of complains…

“Enough..You gave me a big blast yesterday” I said with a disturbance voice..

I was feeling sick and I didn’t know the reason… “You look so clean..I mean from words… Yes I’m sorry I had more than 5 beer cans yesterday and that’s why I acted dumb” He confessed…

“Huh? So why did you come between me and Dastan..Everything happened because of you William..and Dastan is angry with me..I can’t even find him…It’s your fault that I went to the dance with Dastan..You broke all my hopes and now you are coming to me to say SORRY!!!!

After seeing his changing expressions I realized that I have let the cat come out from the bag…I gasped and tried to pretend like I have no any mood to talk…

“Wait wait? What do you mean by YOU WENT TO THE DANCE WITH DASTAN because of me? and Did I broke your hopes? what are you talking about? I need explanation”

“The atmosphere is dirty here…I think I’d better go” I lied…

William hold my hand tightly letting me not to move… He had the same suspicious look on his face…

“I told that because…actually they have no any meaning…Just because I have no any idea about what is going on..I’m sorry..My faith is shaking..Thats why I’m acting weird..I’m afraid to lose Dastan..he is my friend”

“You know what..You sounds like Miley Cyrus” William said with a satisfied look,leaving my hand…

“Huh? why is that?” I narrowed my eyes at him

“No just a thought… Because you are always talking about weird things” He giggled while resting his body in the strong cement bench…

“Am I weird”

Suddenly William was smiling,smiling broadly.. “No you are not..But sometimes you have weird thoughts..Just take it easy..No hard feelings…If he is a good friend..He will understand your issues and will come to you again… Let the time decide… ”

“True..” I said coldly… I had no any mood to talk with William because I was so hurt with the disappointed feelings given by him…

“Are you pregnant?” William ridiculously said stretching up his arms..

“What the hell? Are you crazy” I moaned…

He smiled at me winningly,with more charm that I had previously suspected possessed…

“Ha ha…just a joke…. Because you are feeling so heavy today right?” Again he smiled at me

“yes I do..But how do you know?” An anger difficult to describe was building with in me.There were all kind of pretty tricks he could have played that wouldn’t have been so physically violent.

“I can read your eyes…” He whispered in a charming way,fading all my anger towards him through his lustful eyes

“You predicted it right?” I said

“No…. I realized it from your drifted restless eyes” Flared William,as if he considered my caution utterly over done..

“No any big deal Jazz”

“but I want to make sure that you can read people truly” I insisted,because I wanted him to realize that I liked him so much…

“All right….. ” Shouted William

“Then ask me something about any one that you want to know..But only the people who I know”

I spend some time in thinking of someone..the only name which came in to my mind was JASMINE,MYSELF!!!

“tell something more about me” I hissed

“Hmmm…” William again made himself comfortable in the bench and spent few seconds in observing me… His eyes were attacking my eyes just like a snake attacking a man….

“You know…You are worrying about something…” Finally he spoke

“Worrying? worrying about what?” I questioned

“You are worrying about something which is gone..which is so familiar to you.on something you depended for  lots of years….” He insisted

HE WAS TRUE!!!! damn true!!!! He is talking about my own father..he is talking about the insecure feelings that I was having after my father’s death..he is talking about the hurtful feelings which came as an outcome from my fathers death…

“I dunno… I wouldn’t want to be caught down here in the morning by one of the crazy students here,who would immediately report me for bullying him..I’m going..Thanks for the nice chat” I stood up in order to leave William

For the last time I watched at William and I saw him watching me with a soft smile

“I told the truth right? that’s why you are leaving..because you are running away from what I said”

“No I’m not..I want to find Dastan somehow.. I don’t have any time to waste with you” I said in a rude manner…

The real truth was I was afraid and scared after listening to William’s words..because I was afraid to let him know my real emotions towards him..If he can tell about my real feelings..then surely he will understand the things which I’m having towards him..It might be a problem too..that’s why I wanted to leave him as soon as I can…

“Okay…Agreed” William said while raising his hands..

Destiny was at hand..what ever happened next was non of my doing,I thought,as I watched him preen….

*********************************************************************************

The whole day was useless except the conversation with William..I tried to find Dastan but he didn’t show up in-front of me,even for a single second…I tried his number but he didn’t pick up his phone..

Finally I decided to phone his home… I heard his phone ringing furiously But there were no any answer.. Suddenly I heard someone picking up the phone and I was so happy… “Hello you are talking to Dastan Southee..But he is not at home now..Please leave a message and he will check it as soon as possible..Thank you!!!” Unfortunately it was the message recorder in the phone….So I decided to leave a message…

“Hey Dastan…I phoned you several times,but you are not picking up the phone..Just want to say SORRY..I know that I was wrong at that time..But I have to say that I had reason to talk like that…Lana always wanted to date you..But as you were my friend..she misunderstood us..She thought that there’s an affair between us…So she always came after me asking about you..That’s the main reason to talk like that..You are my friend..Swear I never meant to hurt you..Please understand me Dastan..You always understood me…now why? Hope that you will reply me soon..Bye take care”

After leaving Dastan a message,I lied on my bed,thinking about him… Dastan was so happy yesterday with me and that’s why he tried to kiss me… but I’m not sure whether he wanted to kiss me…maybe it’s a wrong thought of me… he might wanted to kiss me in a friendly manner…I always go wrong,thinking bad about people..now I have lost my friend too..

But what if he can’t understand me? as William said,he will surely understand me if he’s a real friend… So all I had to do is WAITING….

Hello Everyone!

Faded Vanilla Twilight is my new story and hope you all will enjoy it...Have a nice day! :)

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