Faded Vanilla Twilight

Having a crush on a careless guy like William was so risky… Moreover, if you were from the opposite crowd. Moreover, if you were no one.
But making a trouble with them was another case.So I had to pretend William that everything with me was totally fine! another huge lie from the honest me! I couldn’t believe my self..In the beginning I was a normal student who wanted to succeed her education more than thinking about relationships….But right after meeting William everything changed confusedly…. I couldn’t believe that I let myself to change for a guy….!

I was walking in the Uni hallway and I met Cassie and her clique jabbering in a corner…Jasmine, are you dating two guys at once…Jeramie and Dastan??” Asked Cassie, her lips pressed together, trying so hard to hide her amusement.

“Huh?” I said in dismay…

“Congrats, anyway. We think you both are just perfect for each other,” She winked, and left me afterwards with another giggles from her cliques.

I was about to scream at her but hardly I controlled myself…

“Now I have nothing to loose..Everything went wrong..Cassie won and I lost..she has William with her now..I have no one…Only person I have with me is Dastan..I can’t let him go because of these crazy rumors…It’s good to discuss with him about this matter” I murmured to myself with frustrated feelings…

But I couldn’t think any more..right as a bullet I saw William coming towards me..I had no way to hide from him..It was too late.

“Hey” William chirped like a bird….

“Oh hi William” I said lightly..

“You are talking just like I’m a stranger”He chuckled…

“Yes you are a stranger William….you are…! I have lost my way because of you and now you are acting as you don’t know anything..Didn’t you read my eyes even for a single second..You trumpeted that you can read people..So why didn’t you read me William..You are just a liar..I hate you! Don’t break me apart again and again..Stay away from me” The voices in my head cried like never before…

“Is that so..So funny” I snarled…

“No,not a joke…I’m serious” he said…

“Noo…I don’t think so..You have misunderstood”..I blurted out so quickly with all the wrath I had within that I caught a breath..

“Okay okay…I’m sorry.” He roared with amusement..

“Hell okay!…. “I continued, diverting my gaze from William to my toes…

I felt my heart so heavy as if it weights a thousand tons….I never wanted to experience any heart break….

“Hey Jazz…Look at me”William muttered softly, carefully…

“Is there any problem with you..You have never been like this before…Why is this? Just tell me..I can’t bear your weird behavior…”

I lifted my gaze and stared at him for a while…For a second I melted and felt so over-whelmed by the way he looked at me. His gaze held so much indescribable emotions – soft and warm, affectionally as if…
“You’re not like what you think you are. You are not different – at least I’ve never once thought that you are,” He assured.
For a while he spaced out before carefully said, “…I like Jasmine Whie the way she is. Because you’re beautiful for just simply being yourself,”
His voice so soft and calming while he’s staring right into my eyes.

I wanted to kiss his lips more than anything..But I was too late for that!

My lungs felt like crushing, my eyes stung as I saw that expression. Somehow, I calmed down but a lump in my throat won’t vanish. It was not soothing the pain, only to add another scratch on my wrecked heart because no matter how much, no matter how good I tried to lie to myself, I could see, everyone could see it was a pity, a pity look he gave to me. He would never know how much that impacted me, that I despised that look on me. But I appreciated his asurrence, and smiled though so hard I wanted to shout at him that why, why he can’t see me after all this time? And had to choose someone so perfect that I felt like an idiot, loving him and keep it to myself, all this time too that I still wondering myself why I couldn’t stop.

“Feels like crying” I sighed, pretending to swoon at his words.

“Oh, no!” He wailed, throwing back his head.
I laughed and so did he, with soft laughing noise escaped his lips.
“Seriously,Jazz…you are way better than everyone here,” Said William grinning.
“But not much as Cassie,” I stated, nodding my head sagely. And he laughed.

“So,” He begin lightly, “How was your date?”
I frowned, “What date?”
He raised an eyebrow briefly at me, “Come on tell me ?”
My mouth fell down the floor. Where exactly did he get that idea?
“Huh? Is this some kind of Jeramie’s bullshit!” I chuckled.

William frowned in confusion, he never had a clue.
“I mean, I’ve never once said that I’m dating someone, not personally. So where did you get that idea, silly boy? Who said that, really?” I asked him between my laughter as I saw his bewildered expression from across.
“Uh…Jeramie said that you guys went on a date..So that’s not TRUE? -” He stammered, searching for a word. He seemed so flustered that I couldn’t stop laughing.
“Did you ever think that was all a joke? I never went on a date boy,” I burst out into a roar of laughter seeing him so puzzled.
He had no clue who I sincerely wished to date.
“Like you don’t know me,” I added.
His eyes widened as he began to finally get it, he snickered, “Damn,that Jeramie.. – I should have known,” He sighed.

“Okay..Okay..You have badly misunderstood me…Don’t listen to them please…” I said with a laugh

“It was only you that I loved truly William..Can’t you understand me..I’m in love with you…” Again the voices in my head cried ghastly…

Both of us spoke nothing..Realizing the uncomfortableness I tried to move away..

“I gotta go…I just have some science problems to solve..Don’t stand here like a stare crow..Grow up Willi” I said with a weird voice..

Again he sighed and nodded…

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“Hello Jazz…finally you have remembered me…” Dastan’s soft voice came through the phone…I was lying on my bed right after the Uni and I decided to talk about the dating problem with him….

“Don’t tell like that..You know that I was busy huh..How could I forget you my close friend…” I said slightly…I felt so fresh and good when ever I talked with Dastan..He had so many advices stored for me..Each and every day I wanted him!

“Just a joke..So how are you young lady..Having a good time at home”

“Yah Kinda..” I gaped..

“Kinda? What does that mean..is everything fine over there?” Dastan said with a blinked regretful tone.

“Yes of course..everything is fine and perfect…I was a bit tried..So no any good mood now..” I lied..

It was all because of that W-I-L-L-I-A-M…He has haunted my life my mind my soul my everything!

I have become a puppet of William…

“You will be fine soon my dear…Don’t worry..I’m here for you always” He said with a satisfying tone

His words made me feel more better…

“Thanks a lot Dastan..I feel great to feel your company”

He laughed softly…

“Actually I phoned you because…actually because…” Though I wanted to tell him about the rumors..the needed words didn’t come out from my mouth..I was shucked between two thoughts..Will Dastan think mad about me..Or will he get angry!

“Yes tell me dear…” He added

Thousands of thoughts were rolling deep on my mind and I couldn’t choose any proper decision..So again destroying all the strength I had…I decided to LIE AGAIN!

“Uhh..actually I just wanted to thank you being such a nice guy to me..I really appreciate that..I need you forever…!” God! It was so stupid..It was like a dialogue from a silly drama!

For an eternally long time he said nothing…

“You know what Jazz….I feel so lucky to have you in my life…” He said…

It was so nice of him and he was thousand times better than William..He understood everyone and everything personally..unlike William..

I wanted William to change…

but it was only a dream….